Dear Dogs....

In case you are reading this....



The monkey grass in the flower bed is NOT a dog bed.







Pooping next to the patio doesn't make my life easier nor does it make me like you more.







After you get a big drink of water.......I didn't call you over for you to put your face in my lap.







Just because you didn't notice you farted......doesn't mean that I can't smell it.







Muddy feet is not a good reason to run around on the carpet.







The neighbor cats are not going to ever go away......so maybe it's time to quit barking.









The potted plants don't substitute for a fire hydrant.











I like to set my drink on the coffee table. I didn't mean for you to use it as a tee ball holder and whack away with your tail.











When I set my food on the counter.....I didn't put out a sign that read: "Free Dog Buffett"









And finally....I notice that you have really good hearing and you all know your name. So pretending to be deaf when you get out of the yard.....is not working for me.







Thanks for listening.