101 Ways to Suck at Being a Stay at Home Wife

I'm sitting here...staring at my sleeping baby. WOW...she sleeps...I know its only moments until I hear that shrill cry...so I'm just killing time until our next session of dancing around the house to The Judds. I go back to work tomorrow. Realtor time! I realized that for the past 2 months....I've been a stay at home wife. I suck at it. In my head....a stay at home wife sleeps until 10am...goes to the gym...then "lunches" with friends. I always wanted to do that......and yet...in the last 2 months...I've done ZERO of that. There are 101 ways I suck at being a stay at home wife...and here's just a drop in the bucket.

1. I watch the clock WAY too religiously looking forward to Dr. Phil.
2. I now know that even if I'm home all day....I still wont clean my house or iron my husband's clothes.
3. My biggest excitement of the week is running out of formula so I can go to Target.
4. My biggest let down is realizing that even though I'm not working....my husband still makes me cover my half of the bills. HA! He did slip me a "20" the other day for formula. I guess he doesn't know it's acutally $34.
5. I rarely shower or wear makeup. Heck...I rarely make it out of my PJs.
6. My utilities are higher because.....I'm here all day.....and as mentioned in #4....my "part" of the Richardson Household Expenses is....wait for it....TO PAY THE UTILITIES.
7. My husband expects a homemade dinner at night that I'm not willing to prepare. HAHA just kidding. He knows better.
8. People are starting to notice that I'm commenting on Facebook 5 seconds after they post something....because that's how much I'm on Facebook.
9. My excuse of "Whewww long day...let's have a beer".....isn't making much sense anymore.
10. And finally....my couch cushions are starting to sag from wear and tear and I realized that I won't have money to buy new ones if I don't get BACK to WORK!

I still envy the stay-at-home moms and the Real Housewives of whatever County, but I'm sad to say..it didn't work for me like I had planned it. Maybe I'll try again in a few years.